Monthly Archives: December 2010

Dante Alighieri wrote this allegorical epic poem in the 1300s. This is his examination of the afterlife. One travels through the Inferno (Hell), the Purgatorio (Purgatory), and the Paradiso (Heaven).

Through me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.

Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.

Understand that this is an allegory. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegory It is not a treatise on Christianity. Here is my interpretation

1. All actions and inactions have consequences, intended or unintended. If you do not know the consequences or ignore the consequences, these ripples will come and impact you later…ripples take time and space to travel. The later part of your life in time and space is the after-life. That means you do not know when and where the consequences will impact you. And it can become hell because of what you did in your previous part of your life.
2. Once you have suffered the consequences, you need to decide how you want to move forward. If you mope and whine, you continue living in hell. But if you have thought it thorough and decided, enough is enough, I accept the consequences, and move on, you are into purgatory. Purgatory cleanses you. Fire burns off all impurities from gold. You pass through, burnished.
3. Once you have been purged of your guilt, your pain, and all negative emotions, you are left with positive emotions
4. Now you are in heaven, as you start finding happiness in every small thing. You know how to reframe.

What is effective communication? It is a good composition of the message and its flawless transmission? Is it reception of the message without distortion?

Distortion of the message happens at two points

• during transmission – physical distortion
• due to the belief of the receiver

The same message, to two different persons will have different reactions. There are three types of beliefs that a receiver has that can impact distortion:

1. the beliefs that a receiver has and therefore how he interprets the message itself – this is impacted by the language, the tone and the structure of the message. Sometime the size of the message makes a difference: big emails, short sms, terse verbal responses, long and winded verbal responses (lectures)
2. the receiver’s belief about the sender and the intent of the sender (even an innocuous birthday wishes will have sinister overtones if sent by someone who I think is my enemy; if you do not like a lecturer or his intent, then even his sincere messages will have different overtones)
3. the communication medium : in today’s discussion, the messenger. I am ignoring physical media like telephone cables, Internet etc.

Traditionally, we are advised to differentiate the message from the messenger. We are supposed to be messenger agnostic. “Don’t shoot the messenger,” we are entreated.

But the messenger will determine how we receive the message. If we do not like the messenger or the way he delivers the message, we will not care about the content or the sender. If a book is good, but it is presented by a lecturer or a student we do not like, then we do not care about the contents of the book, or its writer. If a person gives you feedback, we will care about the feedback based on who is giving us the feedback.

Does it mean that I have to be liked before I can send a message?

Does it mean that I have to be liked before I can deliver a message?

Does it mean that my messenger has to be liked?

Does it mean the message loses its significance?

Look at the response of the receiver. If he does not like the message, he has choices:

• attack the message,
• attack the sender and also
• attack the messenger

If he does not like the sender or the messenger, he has same choices.

So when people do not do what I want them to do, I need to look at my message, the receiver’s perception about me and the receiver’s
perception about the messenger.

I also run the risk that if people do not like my message, they will attack the messenger – the poor guy

So if a teacher wants the student to study, and if a student does not want to study, he will attack the message (the course is useless) or the sender (the writer is not qualified) or the messenger (the professor is useless and does not know how to teach)

If a group member does not like what another group member is suggesting, he will attack his suggestion or he will attack the person.

If a group member does not like the person delivering the suggestion, even if the suggestion is good, he will attack the person and the suggestion.