Posts by Chandra Kant

http://www.ndtv.com/article/cities/madhuris-death-8th-suicide-at-iit-kanpur-in-5-years-67150

I belong to this august institution. When such an article appears, it creates a furore and a sense of outrage among the alumni. Here is my letter to them.

Folks

Can I put it differently, at the risk of maybe raising the hackles, or maybe a derisive laugh, out of most of us?

I believe that the purpose of our existence to leave mankind better that we found it. Few of us have the means and the ability to uplift large sections of mankind. Most of us can focus only on ourselves and our children.

In our quest for money and fame, did we forget our children? Is it because we were conditioned by our environment, that we value money and foist success in competition and coming first as the criteria for giving favours and our affection? When did we last say, “Don’t worry about the grades?” Why do we look for the best schools, the best that money can buy, when the most important thing that we can give is understanding and support at home? Are we there at home? And when we are, do we sit in judgement based on our criteria or in understanding of their criteria?

Our children’s generation has grown up with a remote in their hand. They are conditioned to change channels when they do not like something. They get gratification instantly and they want quick results. When they cannot get it, they do not know how to handle it. But think…are they responsible for this environment or did we provide it to them? Did we give them the remote? Is it also the price of technological progress – the Wii – that prevents our children from going out and develop social and adjusting skills, the dependency on the internet to think on their behalf?

I do not want to comment on what IITK is doing. All successful organisations or people get defensive when their motives are questioned. That is the price of greatness. Is funding the answer – do we throw money at them similar to what we do at home? An expiation of our guilt – the reason we buy gifts for our children?

The idea of counselling is good, but in this generation and at this age, students want more peer support. That was the original purpose of the counselling service. I remember that even the concept of empathy was alien during our counselling training. That is sorely lacking in an increasingly competitive environment. I know this not just because I was part of the counselling service, but I counsel 20-24 years old students where I teach now. Their biggest issue is self esteem and peer pressure to conform.

How will money help?

The dean keeps asking for alumni to help in counselling. Most of that probably is career counselling – it that about how to get ahead at the cost of others? Are we fostering competition – fighting for the same scarce resources or are we helping students be more creative and find their niche, where they can use their strengths to their and society’s advantage. Some of our batch mates have found their niche – they love what they do and they provide employment while they do it. Are we promoting the argument for creating employment rather than moving money from the needy to the greedy as employees of already large and rich corporations who are downsizing rather than creating employment?

Most of us have 750-plus weekends left in our life. How do we want to spend them? By leaving a larger nest egg for our children to that they never learn to fend for themselves or to help others find their wings?

My apologies if I have wasted your time.

Chandu

What is concentration? Is it focus? What does focus mean? Is it an action, where the retinal image is sharp? When you are listening to music – ‘concentrating’ on it – your eyes are defocused and closed. Are your ears sharpened? So is it using your senses more acutely? What does concentration during a lecture mean? Listening, hearing and feeling intently? Then how do you assimilate knowledge? What about the thinking part of learning?

Let us analyse this differently. Is concentration the absence of distraction? So when I close the door, turn off the music, create a sensory vacuum, am I concentrating?Our mind cannot be shut, our thoughts cannot be stopped.

I would say concentration is not getting distracted even if there are distractions present. Concentration is continuing towards your goal irrespective of distractions. What prevents us from concentrating?

1. We do not have a goal. When we study, we just read a book until we fall asleep or get distracted. Distractions can be physical / external distractions – the ones that disturb our senses – people talking, moving, watching other things like emails etc. Or they can be mental / emotional / internal distractions – when our mind starts wandering. We lose our sense of the goal.

• So ideally, we should have a goal. We have the concept of micro-goals or ‘chunking down’ – breaking a goal into tiny sub-goals. In project management, we call these milestones. They are a measure of progress and they are a reason to celebrate small successes. I want to see my email – I decide that I will see it after I finish and understand 10 pages or even 5 pages. I should reward myself with things that I love to do – after I reach a micro-goal.

1. Our mind plays games with us. It distracts us. We daydream. We go into flights of fancy, wishful thinking. Or we think of past incidents and try to give some meaning to of it (remember outliers and black swans). The way to handle it is not by telling our mind to shut up and focus. It is to watch the distractions and the thoughts but not get involved in it.

• When I teach meditation in class, it is not to raise our Kundalini or attain Samadhi or to blank my mind. It is to observe our thoughts, but not get involved in them. It is like I am the station master and a thought is a train, where the engine is the thought and the bogies are the emotions. We, as station masters of our mind, do not climb the bogey and ride with the train – we wave a green flag, observe and record the train timing and go back to our room – whatever we were originally doing.

The essence of concentration is not to have so much focus that we are lost in it. It is that we are aware of what our senses are feeling and what our mind is thinking, but we are not distracted by the thinking and the feeling. Too much focus is also a strain. It does not allow us to relax and assimilate. The best way to understand a paragraph is not to focus on each word, but to focus on a sentence and gradually the whole paragraph. That requires us to broaden our vision, not narrow it.

While reading J Krishnamurthi on education, I came across advice on how to meditate. It may be worthwhile to paraphrase the same:

“To learn about meditation, you have to see how your mind is working. You have to watch, as you watch a lizard going by, walking across the wall. You see all its four feet, how it sticks to the wall, and as you watch, you see all the movements. In the same way, watch your thinking. Do not correct it. Do not suppress it. Do not say, “All this is too difficult”. Just watch; now, this morning.

“First of all sit absolutely still. Sit comfortably, cross your legs, sit absolutely still, close your eyes, and see if you can keep your eyes from moving. You understand? Your eye balls are apt to move, keep them completely quiet, for fun. Then, as you sit very quietly, find out what your thought is doing. Watch it as you watched the lizard. Watch thought, the way it runs, one thought after another. So you begin to learn, to observe.

“Are you watching your thoughts – how one thought pursues another thought, thought saying, “This is a good thought, this is a bad thought”? When you go to bed at night, and when you walk, watch your thought. Just watch thought, do not correct it, and then you will learn the beginning of meditation. Now sit very quietly. Shut your eyes and see that the eyeballs do not move at all. Then watch your thoughts so that you learn. Once you begin to learn there is no end to learning.”

Take a hypothetical example of a road accident that I am involved in. I am being very careful, driving under the speed limit and being responsible. But the driver of the bus that barrels into me was speeding, had a few drinks and thought he had the right of way. Further, he was trying to overtake another bus, competing with that driver to pick up passengers first. The driver of the other bus too wanted to win. Neither wins, but I lose a limb.

What should I believe?

• That it was God’s will, that he has some plans for me or some lessons that I have to learn? Is it karma, or consequence of something that I did in my past or current life?
• That it was a random/ unpredictable/ maybe explicable act, which happened due to a set of mental models created in the drivers who were therefore competing, coupled with their low self esteem which was compensated by the false bravado of a few drinks.

How should I react?

Based on either of the above, should I

• be inert or
• actively forgive the driver? or
• actively avenge my loss of limb by suing the truck company, or
• get the driver beaten up or any such reaction?

Are events random, or are they fated to happen?

If I look at a continuum of fate vs. deliberate action: 

I could have, on one end, 100% dependency on God’s Will and the philosophy that everything is preordained.

Whatever happens to me, whether good or bad, is not of my making but “that of our stars,” as Shakespeare would say. I may explain my actions by saying that God put this decision in my mind, and at an extreme, Gods talks to me and tells me what to do – whether it is of positive consequences like Joan of Arc or negative like Charles Manson.

On the other end, I could believe that when I react to an event, I do so on the basis of my mental models and my beliefs.

These beliefs have been created based on my previous interactions with the world and my interpretation or learning from past events.

When I react, it is like throwing a stone into the water, and the ripples of my action impact a myriad of people in different ways. All these people react in different ways to my action based on their mental models and beliefs. Since I do not know their beliefs and how they were formed, it is not possible to predict what is the sum total of all their reactions and what will be the final impact of these actions.

It is sort of a Brownian motion, where random molecules collide with each other and therefore change their path. How people interact or react is based on their beliefs and since we cannot see into their mind, we cannot predict the course of action.

Hence, we would seem like a random event. These are inexplicable/ random/ unpredictable events which have a major impact on life as we know it. These random events are called “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell or “Black Swans” by Nissim Nicholas Taleb.

The last such random event was 9/11 according to the Western world.

In the middle of this continuum would be the 50 percent belief, that there is a grand scheme of things, and there is a randomness of nature.

We have to try our best to understand how people would react, but because we cannot be 100% certain, there will be an element of randomness, coupled with an incomprehensible hand of God. We have a tendency, after the event, to try and explain it rationally. If we cannot explain it rationally, we try to explain it as God’s Will, His Grand Plan about us.

The Impact of either fate or randomness

This entire continuum can lead to a belief that:

1. we should not attempt anything either because God will take care of us, or
2. the randomness of events will anyway render intended consequences of any of our actions futile.

So we can justify our inaction, our procrastination and laziness.

We have Indian philosophy from the Bhagwad Gita – of our right to action, but not to results. We have a piquant situation where we have a right to action, which (based on where you are on the continuum, has an element of pre-ordained) and no control on results (which is random or unpredictable at best).

Sort of drives the final nail into the coffin of inactivity and inertness.

If things are random or pre-ordained, how will I be motivated?

Motivation is based on

• the needs of a person, and
• the probability that the effort the person makes would lead to the fulfilment of the need.

If we say that we cannot predict the impact of the effort, why would we make the effort?

So forget about consequences?

Shall we follow the philosophy of existentialism, live for the moment, with no thought of either the past or the future? I am here and now, and only this is real? So there is no such thing as strategy or long term consequences? If I cannot control, why think about pollution, leaving this world a better place etc. Or it is God’s will?

I am unhappy when things do not go as I want. The unhappiness is due to unfulfilled desires. It happens when the rest of my world does not have the same view of a perfect world as I have. I think I have done a good job. My boss thinks otherwise and tells me so. I become unhappy. I wanted to see this movie. My significant other or my group wants to see another. I am unhappy.
As soon as I am unhappy, my thought process goes like this. I am right but they are not agreeing with me. If they were my friends, they would agree with me. So they are not my friends. Therefore I do not need to like them. Ergo, I will thwart all they want to do, because they have stopped me from following my wishes. I know that this thought process seems exaggerated in the cold light of day, but when we are unhappy, this is the sentiment.
Since I cannot thwart them, as I have no control over them, I feel incompetent. I have two reactions – either I try to control them (be it my significant other or my boss) or I wallow in self pity. Sometimes, I try control and if that does not work, I wallow. While I wallow, more scenarios come to mind specially those that reinforce my belief. I love these thoughts because they justify my unhappiness and give a reason why I should not do anything.
The result of this mind set and lack of action is that people become genuinely unhappy with me and want to avoid my company. If the issue is at the workplace, the company wants to avoid me. I get fired.
Let me reframe unhappiness. When I am unhappy with the status quo, I want to change it. The desire to change can lead to action. Wallowing in self pity is denying myself the opportunity for action. Sometime I pay lip service to action, but I know that it will not work, so that I can retreat into self pity.
As soon as I am unhappy, I say to myself, “Yes, I am unhappy, therefore I need to change my status quo. What actions can I take?”
The impulsive or instinctive action of fight-flight is obvious. That is what animals do.
Do I have any other choices?
One choice could be to reframe my desire and really determine if this desire is a genuine need or wishful thinking. For example – I want a Rolex and I am unhappy I don’t have one. Do I really need one. What need does it satisfy? To prove to myself that I have money or to impress someone? If neither is necessary, or I can achieve the objective by another means, I don’t need the Rolex.
The other choice could be win some-lose some. Maybe I will agree in this case, so that I invest in a relationship which will yield something bigger later. For example, does it make sense to take up cudgels with my client just because of ego – to prove that I am right. If I agree with him now, will he agree with me later?
The third choice could be to determine an action plan of some duration, which leads to the change in status quo. I sometimes want the complete change to happen overnight, and when that does not happen due to laws of nature, I get the reason to wallow in self pity and stop the action. For example, if I am not satisfied with my weight, my desire is to do something so that I become thin overnight. When that does not happen, I get a reason to give up. I can create a plan with some intermediate checkpoints like losing 500 grams a month so that I can do 6 kilos in a year. The problem is my emotions and the desire for instant gratification.
My point is that I have more than one obvious choice. If I know that all unhappiness leads to choices, I am ready for alternative action and therefore I can stop wallowing in self pity.
In essence, unhappiness can be a good thing.

The process of sales is to start with the universe of ‘suspects’ who could possibly buy my product (here I can very creative in creating this universe, thinking laterally helps), then based on some criteria narrow it down to ‘prospects’ – these are persons with whom I will have to seek appointments (called approach), then I will spend some time (2-3 times) meeting these people, then get down to ‘negotiation’ then ‘close’ the deal and then get a cheque (order).

The conversion ratio for each stage is different for different industries. Say, the conversion ratio is 2:1 at each stage (S.P.A.N.C.O), this means for one order, I need two closes, 4 negotiations, 8 approaches, 16 prospects and 32 suspects.

As a poor sales man, I will create 32 suspects and then run though the sales cycle to get one order. Suppose this takes 14 days. If I, then, start the new cycle, I will get an order after 14 days. That means, in a 8 week program, like SIP, I will get 4 orders.

As a good salesman, I will

• start day 1 with 32 suspects,
• start day 2 with 32 new suspects and 16 prospects of day 1,
• start day 3 with 32 new suspects, 16 prospects of day 2 and 8 approaches of day 1
• start day 4 with 32 new suspects, 16 prospects of day 3 and 8 approaches of day 2 and 4 negotiations from day 1…etc.

This means every day I will have to spend time creating a new set of suspects and following up with the funnel of the previous days.

My sales is limited by

• how I manage time each day
• how fast I move from one stage to another, and
• how good is my conversion ratio

To be a good sales person, I need to start thinking, check out the best sales person in my company, talk to him, accompany him …take short-cuts to learn the best practices.

BUT I MUST MANAGE MY NUMBERS AND MY TIME RELENTLESSLY.

If I am waiting in the reception, I should pick up my mobile and start finding out suspects and their details, start talking to prospects to get an appointment….

Good salespeople are NOT people with the gift of the gab, they are people who are focussed on their numbers.

What happens when I give or receive feedback? Why is it that I give feedback with good intentions, but the result is not what we intended.

An engineering graduate would say, feedback is provided, based on output, to the input of a process to modify the process. A negative feedback dampens the process, a positive one increases the throughput.

When I give feedback, I give it with a desire to change the current state of mind (or belief) of the receiver so that his future actions (output) are more amenable to me personally. If others give feedback to the same receiver, and the feedback is different, what will be the state of mind of the receiver? Therefore, can I really control the state of mind or belief of the receiver?

If I am the receiver of feedback,I need to decide between various providers of feedback. I have my own priority system, which may be based on trust and on my assessment of the provider’s intent. Since the provider does not know what is going on in my mind, the provider cannot determine the impact of the feedback.

What is negative feedback?

Is it based on what I say? Or is it based on how the receiver perceives it? If my intent was to decrease the output of the receiver’s actions (negative feedback), the receiver has to accept my feedback to act accordingly. If the receiver rejects the feedback, my intent comes to naught. Similarly, if my intent is to provide feedback to increase the current output (positive feedback), but the receiver perceives me negatively, he may do the opposite. Hence, unlike feedback in engineering, negative and positive feedback as perceived by the provider is multiplicative based on whether the receiver perceives the feedback negatively or positively.

To put it plainly, my negative feedback, if considered negatively by the receiver, may make him do the opposite thing or make him continue doing what he does (minus x minus = plus).

My negative feedback, if considered favourably by the receiver, will make him do what I want him to do (minus x plus = minus).

Similarly, my positive feedback, if considered negatively by the receiver, may make him do the opposite thing and he may discontinue doing what he was doing (plus x minus = minus).

So, before giving feedback, I need to understand the belief of the receiver in terms of how he perceives me in relation to other influencers. I may need to prepare the ground by making the person amenable to my feedback, by choosing the right time, the right environment and past events leading to this event. Only then can I give feedback..

In reality, I simply burst out with feedback (generally negative), and it has an unintended reaction. I really need to control when and how I give feedback, else it is a waste of time and creates more relationship issues.

If I say, from a belief point of view, even terrorists have good intentions, there is a sense of discomfort.

When I do something ‘wrong’, I do it because of 3 major reasons

a.Ignorance: I do not know at that moment that it is ‘wrong’. It is not deliberate. This can happen because:

a.I am ignorant of the norms of the society/ group I am living in or belonging to. This can cause one-time or multiple episodes until the laws of the society or the rules of the group comes into play after being caught

b.I am psychologically incapable of deciphering right from wrong. For example, psychopathic behaviour, which affects 1% of our population. Such people have a ‘mental’ disease and I can be a victim of such a disease

c.Crimes of passion – when my emotions hijack my rational mind and I have no emotional control.. This is also sometimes labelled as temporary insanity. Mob mentality may also fall in this – when it loses all reason

b.Acts of commission: I justify in my mind that I am correct in my reasoning and therefore justified in my action. This is deliberate and systematic.

a.This happens because sometimes I can get away with it

b.I get a psychological thrill of power or similar feelings that I have been missing from childhood,

i.maybe because I was myself a victim or

ii. because I saw that this was done by others who got away with it, or

iii. other perpetrators told / indicated to me the feeling that came with it and I wanted to experience similar feelings.

c.Sometimes extraordinary situations put social laws and laws of the country into abeyance, like acts of war (where abuse of the invaded is provided as a reward – e.g. Chengiz khan), the atrocities during the Emergency (see Hazaaron Kwahishen Aisi – if you have the heart), or the reactive nature of security controls of the US government. Here some powers create their own laws and justify these laws in the name of security etc.

d.Sometimes I are coerced into doing something wrong. This is because I too am a victim of the psychological / physical pressure that is forced on me.

c.Acts of omission: When I sit on the sidelines and watch things happening. I am still part of this.

a.I am afraid of the consequences and also feel like a victim. I am on the victim’s side but I cannot raise my voice or interfere

b.I think, or rationalise, that it is justified. Sometimes the perpetrator may tell me it for the victim’s own good. E.g. corporal punishment

The above are the reasons or beliefs that have caused the action. In case B above, the psychological map or belief has been created because of which the perpetrator believes that he is right and that his intentions are good. Any abuse, be it abuse of mankind, race, sexual, mental, physical comes because it has been justified in the perpetrator’s mind that he/she is right in his/her action.

Please understand that I want to separate the cause from the action. There is no justification of the action from the point of view of the victim or from the point of view of the extant societal norms or laws. From that perspective, the perpetrator needs to be punished for his ACTION. Societal norms and laws are also beliefs (shared beliefs) about what is best for the good of the majority. Please note the word majority, as there will always be a minority that will not believe this.

To summarise, the intention in my mind, as the perpetrator, is good, from my frame of reference, but the action is BAD, from the victim or society’s frame of reference.

Take the instance of ragging. I, as a victim of ragging in the first year, believed that this is immature and not necessary. But when I go into second year, I do as follows:

·I do not know the norms of ragging. What are the limits or norms

·I do not know that what I am doing is called ragging

·I are part of the mob and have lost the sense of reason

·I am part of a group and want to prove myself as being equally capable.

·I was a victim and I need to pass it on

·I get angry at some junior and abuse my position

·I can get away with it as people turn a blind eye

·Others have got away with it

·People tell me what fun it is and I want enjoy that fun

·I know that this is a temporary phenomena and there will be an end to it. I will make amends later by providing a peace offering.

·I know it is wrong but as part of a group, I cannot raise your voice.

·BUT MY INTENTIONS ARE GOOD!!!

To learn to make a chair, there are three approaches.

I can teach you how to make a chair in theory and tell you a lot more about wood, types of chairs, design etc. This allows me to teach you a lot of things, and you gain knowledge about chairs, its history and how to make them. You can know all about chairs in a short amount of time and you would feel that you are getting value for money.

But you too can read a book (maybe not as many) to get the same knowledge.

You need a buyer who wants your knowledge instead of him reading a book. So you are substitute for his time. You are his google. You can use methods and tools that you learnt in different and creative ways. You are paid for your creativity.

If a chair needs to be made, your buyer will tell you to get it made and either you will micromanage the carpenter or try it yourself. The first chair created will be terrible. You may not be able to communicate to the carpenter and he will make a chair as perhis belief since he did not understand you or thinks you don’t know anything or does not want to listen to you.

This is what most of the educational institutes do.

Or

I can ask you to make a chair and learn from your mistakes. Since making a chair is physical, it takes time. That means you will learn very few things in the limited amount of time but you have more expertise in these few things.

The buyer knows that you have made a chair and if needed you can make a decent chair. However, the buyer may not need a chair. Also you cannot be his google so he has to spend time himself to learn something, or ask you to learn something and then tell him. Both ways, a lot of time is spent on too few things. You are being paid for your expertise. If the buyer wants a different type of chair, you may not have expertise in it.

If a buyer is clear he wants carpenters who can build a chair, he will want you. When he asks you to make a chair, you will have better rapport with the carpenters because you can roll up your sleeves and help build. You will also create more realistic project plans.

This is what most students want. But then what is the difference between engineering students and polytechnic students?

Or

I can tell you where you can read the theory and then discuss how someone (the subject) else made a chair. You can go through the process, using your theoretical knowledge and making comments on the process. I can add practicality based on my experience. So you learn from my experience of making a chair, your thoughts about making a chair, and the subject’s processof making a chair. So you learn from two persons who have made chairs, and clarify your thought process. I can also ask you how else to make a chair, and that will promote creativity. Drawbacks are that you need to learn the theory yourself – as without this background, you will not understand what is going on, I need to have done this before, and you will get your hands dirty only virtually, not physically.

This is the case method, which requires equal participation from the student and me.

The buyer needs to know that you have seen how a chair is made, you have discussed with 2 carpenters what can go wrong, what went right etc. And you have a lot of knowledge about a lot of topics with some practical experience.

What is the right approach?

Emails are one of the worst inventions for interpersonal relationships. I know that it is cheap and fast. But it is impersonal.

I are naturally shy and therefore hide behind emails. It allows me to compose at leisure and rewrite my mail, therefore lose all spontaneity. It therefore is not a true picture of who I am. Someone else can also write my emails on my behalf.

On the other hand, I have a tendency to personalise everything that I receive as input – whether it is an email or feedback. So when I get an impersonal letter, I colour it with my impressions of the sender. If my last interaction with the sender was bad, the letter is coloured by that impression…and vice versa. So junk mails have no impact because I have no connection with the sender.

If I am selling, or looking for a job, or talking to a friend or significant other, I should try and talk to him personally so that he can get a better impression about me. Otherwise when I send an email, like when applying for a job using a CV or an impersonal letter, it makes me the same as 500,000 others who are looking for a job.

If however, I have talked to a person, or someone else has talked on my behalf, then there is a personalisation, and when I send an email, the email is coloured by their impression about me.

If my email is forwarded to another person, again it becomes impersonal because the new recipient has no interaction with me. It is therefore sometimes better if I talk to the end user (the department that plans to hire me, e.g. the sales department) who then talks to the HR persons.

We need to decrease email interaction and increase verbal or face to face interaction. Handwritten letters are better than emails. At least there is a personalisation and a spontaneity.

We have a headache, we take aspirin or paracetamol or consult a so-called expert, take their recommendation and get back to doing what we were doing. Since the problem goes away, we do not bother. Each time the headache returns, we take a larger dose or try a different medicine. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. One day we realise that this is not working and go to a proper doctor. We then understand that the root cause was different, by which time it may be too late.

We treat life the same way. When we have a problem, we consult a so-called expert or read a self-help book and apply its principles. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not.

There are tens of thousands of ‘self-help’ or ‘how-to’ books, ranging from fixing your physical problems (weight, looks, complexion, height) to fixing your emotional and mental problems (memory, speed of thinking, control of emotions) to fixing your after-life (spiritual, religious problems). If they give quick fixes, it is a good book or advice. If it asks you to do things from basic principles (like yoga) where the results take too much time in coming or are not evident, we do not like that book or advice.

We become evangelists of some remedies thatwork. We close our eyes to the root problems, or ignore any signs that are contrary to our beliefs. We also try to convert others to our way of thinking. We force our beliefs on others. Check out the latest diet, fad, religion, spiritual guru.

The answers are within ourselves. We are a product of what we didor did not do in the past. All this past programming made us what we are today. This cannot be deprogrammed by an instant pill. We have to spend a certain amount of time undoing and redoing.

We then have four choices.

1. We can get disheartened and keep searching for the magic pill. We will run from one fad to the other, ask more and more quacks about what to do and believe that the symptomatic relief is the final cure.
2. We can accept ourselves as what we are, and by the same token, accept others as they are. We understand our shortcomings and work around them, and compensate for others’ shortcomings and/or help them.
3. We can start the process of undoing and redoing the most important things. For example, health issues happen when we are old, and we have time to undo/redo our range of activities pertaining to our health. However, once we have taken the career path of ,say, engineering, we cannot go back into medical.
4. We can, early on in life, start doing the right things, so that we are programmed the right way. This requires us to analyse and agree that we need to create some skill sets, find the best way to do it and stick to it, giving it a chance.