If I have put my child to sleep and am relaxing in front of the TV with a glass of well deserved Laphroig in my hand, and he comes crawling out, I get pissed off. My belief is that I need to relax. The child’s belief is that he does not want to sleep. On the other hand, when my wife points out that this is the first time he has walked. She brings in another frame of reference. From that perspective, I am happy that my child came out of the bedroom. The same event, two different beliefs / frames of reference, two different emotions.

Our parents beliefs (read rules to live by) were our own, until we started creating our own beliefs (rules) and it then became a fight as to whose beliefs (rules and frames of reference) are more important. They tried to tell us why their beliefs were important, we did not want to believe them. So we ran away to college, with the hope that we can follow our own rules but no, we now had to follow the rules of our seniors, our colleagues and our professors. A bigger prison.
Then came placement. We believed that we knew what was required for a good placement. But for some reason, the recruiters do not seem to be following our beliefs. We do not know what are their beliefs. And so placement becomes very confusing.
Same event, two different beliefs / frames of reference, I don’t get placed, some one else does.
If I do not know the recruiter’s belief or the recruiter’s company’s beliefs, then how can I be certain of placement?
Selling. I, as a salesman, believe the TV’s features are its strong points. The customer believes that the more expensive, the better his ego is massaged. I am selling features, he just wants to know the price. No sale. Why?
I did not take time to know his beliefs / frame of reference.
Any sale, whether placement, promotion or product, requires us to know the customer’s frame of reference. Our frame of reference is immaterial in this world of sales.
  1. December 1, 2009

    >Very rightly said, but this article is making me feel that at this point of time my opinion, my beliefs and frame of references are of no value. But I believe that everybody's frame of references are valuable but depending on the position he/she is standing.e.g. Today for a salesman all these may be immaterial but when the same salesman is a customer for someone else, definitely his beliefes are like God's words.The article truely reflects our internal state of mind, but I would love to know how to handle such situation.

  2. December 2, 2009

    >My point is that we all have our beliefs and in that frame of reference, we are always right. Unfortunately, we tend to be too selfish and try to impose our beliefs on others. I do not mean to imply that our beliefs are of no importance. But we need to appreciate others' beliefs. Only then there can be mutual respect and understanding

  3. December 2, 2009

    >What I have understood by going through the article is that We have to change our belief as per the requirement of external circumstances. Here I am having one serious argument, what about our self belief and confidence. As said here correctly that we have to sell ourself to the company during the placement but selling is not about compromising with your thoughts or idea. Sometime It happens that our belief don't match with the others that is confrontation of thought process which we have resolve.

  4. December 2, 2009

    >Maybe the word belief is misleading. Belief is a 'cognitive behaviour' word, which implies that our beliefs determine our actions. There is why, for the same event, we can have two different reactions. E.g. if your girl friend is late, a belief that she may be in trouble causes a concerned reaction, but if you believe that she is out with another of your friends, your reaction is different.If the actions based on your beliefs do not get you a job or a sale, you may really want to look at your beliefs. Sticking to an unproductive belief may require some soul searching.The premise of this post is that if you do not understand a person's belief, you have no hope of influencing him. It is not about changing your beliefs. Do you really understand another person's beliefs? How would you know a recruiter's beliefs?Do you really know a customer's beliefs?

  5. December 3, 2009

    >A thought which comes to my mind is…should we be stuck with our beliefs? Should we not be open to changing them? This sounds good but is it that easy?

  6. December 17, 2009

    >We do use fram of reference. Sometimes we don't acknowledge. It's true that if we know others believes we can persuade them much better. If you think of why ur close friend and relative and gf is capable to persuade u. when somebody has to get done something from u they catch person who is near to u. Just because our close once knows our believes. So it's easy for them to figure out what can make us intrested.So doest it means that to know others believe we need to know that person and his thinking process and liking? I think Yes.But I'm not sure what we do unknowingly how to do that intentionally to fulfil our self intrest.Is it making fool that person if we know he/she in not interested.


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