Posts by Chandra Kant

I see students alternating between extremes: depression and elation, weeks of procrastination and sudden bursts of frenetic energy, greed and contentment, love and hatred, ‘never’ and ‘always’.

Since these swings are a function of time, they can be considered as emotional waves.

The energy provided to a wave can be expended in two ways: laterally (across the axis of the wave) by increasing the amplitude of the swing, or longitudinally (along the axis of the wave) by increasing velocity.

Mood swings can be similarly compared. Either we can have huge swings (as given in the first paragraph) and therefore get out of swings slowly (remain extremely emotional for a long time), or have smaller swings and move forward faster. Both types consume the same energy, but one gives a better balance than the other and allows you to move forward faster.

All swings have to be controlled. We cannot prevent the swings from happening. A balance is never still. Even the movement of air makes it swing. Every time it reaches equilibrium, something makes it swing again. If the balance swings too wildly, the pan may hit the ground / table and it may be deformed or the centre of the balance may shift, and the balance would never be perfect again.

Similarly extremes in emotions leave scars and sometimes we become permanently unbalanced. I see students with a negative attitude to life and wonder if it is a result of such emotional scars.

Indian philosophy advocates moderation in all things. Tolerance of all beliefs is moderation. We cannot always be truthful, specially if a white lie can save someone’s life or self-esteem (if a girl-friend asks if these jeans make her look fat, what will you answer?) . We will sometimes be sad (not depressed) and sometimes happy. We may detest something (not hate) or like something (not love?).

Moderation leads to balance.

 

It can be said that we procrastinate because of the following reasons:

1. We are not motivated
2. We are afraid we can’t finish the task, or we will fail or we will have to repeat the success
3. The task is not important enough
4. We do not know how to do the task so do not correctly estimate the time and the effort
5. We don’t want to – the task may be dangerous – physically or emotionally

Theoretically, since we know the above, we can prevent procrastination by motivating ourselves, handling our fear and making a good estimate.  Why do we still procrastinate and ignore all the warning signs?

The reason is Affective Forecasting.

If we are full after a meal, we will buy less food at the grocery store.  If we are happy, we believe the future will be rosy. If we are sad, we predict the future to be terrible.

Our current state affects the prediction of an event in the future.

I want to watch a movie so I decide to do the assignment tomorrow. I am happy that I have made a decision. I am also happy that I can watch the movie. Therefore, I predict that doing the assignment tomorrow will be enjoyable.  This positive prediction of a rosy future prevents us from being realistic.

I decide that tomorrow 5 a.m., I will go for a jog. I feel happy that I have made some decisions about my health. I can now watch a movie. Therefore I predict, in my current positive mood, that tomorrow morning my mood will be the same and I will jump out of bed and go for a jog. I ignore the facts that I go to sleep at 1 a.m. and at 5 o’clock I will be grumpy, will definitely hit the snooze button and snuggle back into a warm blanket.

I procrastinate because I believe that by procrastinating, my present and my future will be happier.

Talking to some students, I realised that a person has a different set of rules for how they should be treated and for how they should treat others.  For example, we expect that juniors should obey our rules, but we should not obey any rules.

A corollary to this is the expectation that if person A treats person B well, then person B should treat person A well (Law of Reciprocity). If I have helped someone, that person should help me when I need it. Funnily,  this law should not hold good when treating a person badly.  I am allowed to shout at a person, but the person is not allowed to should back.

This is having double double standards.  This is not just among students, but also among teachers,bosses and our expectations in corporate life. We expect that if we are good to our colleagues, they should be good to us. We want a theory Y boss (nurturing boss), but we treat our subordinates as lazy good-for-nothing fellows and therefore follow theory X. If we are bad to someone, the person should understand why we are doing this (for their own good, obviously) and thank us for it.

I first thought this was hypocrisy, until my wife pointed out that hypocrisy is about saying one thing but acting in a different way. So when students or teachers advice others about the need to good time management, but come late, or if a boss professes to be Theory Y and having an open door, but actually uses the stick more than the carrot and is never available, this is hypocrisy.

Isn’t having two rules of behaviour more confusing to self and to others? You may argue that different situations call for different types actions. True enough. But is it different stimuli creating different responses but the beliefs are consistent, or are we also changing beliefs based on the situation?

If the second one is true, and if beliefs define the person, will the real person please stand up?

 

I was talking to someone in my daughter’s generation about emotions and she mentioned that some of  her friends have sort of created a wall around themselves, because they have had failed relationships or been hurt emotionally, and they do not want to get hurt any more.

This wall prevents them from having emotions. If the principal calls them to her room, some student

Is this good or bad? In corporate life, would this wall help people survive?s get hassled, the walled ones do not care. If someone shares their emotions, the walled ones do not care. If someone praises or criticizes them, the walled ones do not care.

I think the key word is survival. We create walls to prevent intruders from entering our space because we are unable to control who should be allowed to enter and how much or how long they should remain. The wall that we create, severs the link between stimulus and emotion, by superimposing a belief that nothing matters.

Unfortunately, the wall works both ways. Neither do we display our emotions to the outside world, nor do we acknowledge other people’s emotions.

This lack of transparency in emotions hinders relationships that depend on sharing of emotions and a certain openness.

Without relationships, we become lonely. Some of us are comfortable with being alone, because

• we are well adjusted people who are okay with our thoughts
• we keep busy with activities or distractions  that prevent thoughts from intruding

Otherwise, we desperately move from one group to another, trying to find company, but get rejected because of our inability to share our thoughts and create an emotional bond.

In office, this lack of bonding may make us focus on work and therefore we become more productive. But this prevents us from creating goodwill among our peers, and since office life is based on goodwill of colleagues wiling to help and support, this can become an issue as we go higher up the ladder, and we need to depend on subordinates and also need political support.

So what should we do? We have to find a way to become resilient emotionally, so that we can bounce back or regain emotional balance when we are subjected to emotions. If we have this resilience, we do not need the walls, because we know how to handle the emotions when they come, and not artificially shut them out.

You have two types of customers.

• External customers to whom you add value by selling your products.
• Internal customers, like your boss, who you convince to give you resources and rewards.

If both are happy with you, you are promoted.

If either one is happy with you, you retain your job.

If neither is happy with you, you lose your job.

And if you do not have external customers, you really, really, need that internal customer on your side.

I am pleased to announce that my book “MBA Blues – What Recruiters Want and What B-Schools Don’t Teach” is available at flipkart.com. The url to the book is here.

 

If I did not do well in the exam today, I want to know why.  It is possible that it is a consequence of two actions:

1. I did not (or chose not to) understand what the examiner wants as answers
2. I did not prepare well.

Both of the above are critical of me and therefore not acceptable to my self-esteem. I need another answer.

I suddenly remember that, today, I did not pay respects to the deity’s photograph in my room. Boom! I know the reason why I did not do well today in the exam. Tomorrow, I will pay double the respects to the deity.

The above is  is an example of a coincidental association. Sometimes an action (A1) was taken (or avoided) long time ago in the past and its consequences (C1) are happening now. Coincidentally I perform another action (A2) now. Since  C1 occurs just after A2, we believe that C1 is a result of A2.

Suppose I have been living in a hedonistic lifestyle for the last 20 years, enjoying food and wine, and not taking care of my health. I have blocked arteries. Today, someone cursed me in office, my blood pressure went up and I had a heart attack. The other person now has a sense of guilt, because he believes that his cursing caused my heart attack. He thinks he has a ‘black tongue’ and his curse came true.

Suppose, as a salesman, I did not get any orders for a week. I went to a temple and prayed for an order. The next day I got an order. I would immediately conclude that it is because of praying in this temple that I got an order. The following facts (among other facts) do not come to mind.

1. Sales cycles have a time gap between lead-generation and getting an order.
2. It takes time to build a relationship.
3. Orders are determined by the cash flows of the customer.

All the three reasons are not in my control, but going to the temple is. Therefore, I would rather believe that it was going to the temple that helped, rather than my efforts or the customer’s needs.

Our powerful and imaginative mind wants answers.  When it cannot find acceptable facts, it creates a reason from its imagination, linking unrelated actions to consequences. Because I have created this link, my mind justifies it as true, and therefore refuses to look at other reasons. Once I have created a belief, I do not accept an alternative.

It is very important to understand the root causes of a consequence. It is sometimes important to understand that we do not have answers right now, and that we are jumping to unrelated conclusions.

The interview is the place where your buyer and you, the seller, meet. A bad salesperson is one who harps about the features of the product, a mediocre salesperson will talk about the advantages of the product and a good salesperson will talk about the benefits of the product to the customer.

What is the process of coming up with the best sales pitch?

This document has a list of questions, which if answered, will help you create the sales pitch about yourself. Remember, however, that the pitch changes with each customer, and trying to use the same pitch on all customers is counterproductive. Do not try to sell yourself in the same way to all companies.

To understand the market and how you fit in, you need to do an analysis of the placement scenario, the trend, and how you can sell your services. It will be worth your while to download the following document.

This answers to the questions in this document are not readily available. You need to make an effort to get the best possible answers. Human tendency is to take shortcuts, and ask the nearest amenable person for the answers. Please ensure that the person giving you answers is knowledgeable about facts, and not opinions disguised as facts.

There is a lot of wishful thinking that goes on in the name of placement. The reality is based on demand and supply.

For example, some one asked me yesterday whether they should do NSE’s Certification in Financial Markets (NCFM) modules. The objective is to get into brokerage and investment banking.

My answer was as follows:

1. Salaries and jobs are determined by the demand of the recruiters and supply of the right MBAs. More about the MBA market can be found in Chapter 5 (MBA for sale – what salary will I get) of my book, “What recruiters want?”
2. Investment Banking and Brokerage is attractive to MBAs, therefore this is an overcrowded market with a lot of sellers.
3. There are a limited number of well-paying brokerage houses and investment banking firms. There are others, which are more discount shops with low margins and therefore with low fixed salaries and high variable, performance based salaries.
4. If the impact of the European crisis spills over to India, the stock market would be down and hiring will freeze.
5. If everyone has NCFM certification, then it becomes a basic requirement (hygiene factor) and not a nice-to-have factor (motivator) for hiring.
6. If you do join a brokerage firm, the chances that you will actually be doing trading or company evaluation and research is minimal, given that all Tier-1 B-School graduates too want to do the same job.
7. You will probably, and specially in a bad market, be asked to get more customers for the brokerage house. At best, you will be asked to create market analysis / research documents and sell them. For that you do not need the NCFM modules.
8. Nitesh Mittal (a reader) pointed out that there are other options – for example, be a certified financial planner. (http://www.fpsbindia.org/)
9. Sunil Dath (another reader) pointed out that there is a third option – to do a Diploma in Banking and Finance (www.iibf.org.in)