Today, I read this article – “In the name of the father” http://feedly.com/k/17lifXC. The gist of the article is that our parents want to cast us in their mold in order to perpetute their view of the world.
If they were happy with their world, they wished the same to their children. It also perpetuated something familiar so that they can continue to help and guide and not feel useless as age crept on.
If they were not happy, they decided what else you should do – based on the success of relatives and friends. A proven path was better.
So it is the limited knowledge of “good” choices that govern such decisions. When a young person expresses a desire to do something a parent has not heard of, the parent casts far and wide to figure out the success of such a venture. If he cannot, he discourages his child.
Can this knowledge and therefore decision making be improved? Yes. By reading more. Books carry scenarios and experiences of people we have not met and can give us more information and may create additional beliefs, beyond the parochial set of beliefs created by our life and the lives of our friends.
When we live in a hostel, we learn from others and their past. When we read, we cast our net wider, beyond our shores.
When we convey our new beliefs to our parents, they are confused because our view of the world is now different from their view. We should have compassion for them and help them understand this new view, instead of fighting with them. Remember, both of us have my interest at heart. It is simply two views of the same interest.
I deplore the advent of social networks to the extent that it does not create in-depth relationships that may result in experiential learning. Such network also foster fake profiles, which is nothing like reality. It also takes time away from people – time better spent in reading fiction and non fiction that add vicariously to their experience and help in creating more beliefs and better decisions.