“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”
When I posted this quote on facebook, I got queries on “how to change the way we think about it?” I have some comments to make. The quote simply says, either change what is bothering you or change yourself so that it does not bother you. Why did we precipitately decide that we can’t change […]
Kipling’s “If”
I know that I have circulated this before to some batches, but I just love this poem so much, although the conditions in which this was written were less than perfect. If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself […]
Emotions and beliefs
If my girlfriend is late for the movie, I can be anxious if I believe she may be in an accident, or I can be angry if I believe that she does not care for my time, or I can be depressed if I believe that she does not like me any more. Therefore the […]
Destressing – better learn to do it
The following blog details what is happening to us in our work life. http://blogs.hbr.org/schwartz/2011/07/is-the-life-youre-living-worth.html#disqusComments We need to learn to relax. Yes, I know we are told this ‘n’ number of times, but the reality is we do not know how. The best way that I have found is by progressive relaxation – deliberately tightening and […]
The self esteem of a Bhindi
I hate Bhindis (okras, lady’s fingers). When I go to the vegetable market, I pass over Bhindi, even if they are fresh and tender. I do not even see them. Should the bhindi have low self esteem? Should the bhindi start believing that because I have not considered it, there is something wrong with it? […]
Don’t shoot the messenger – ad hominem attacks
What is effective communication? It is a good composition of the message and its flawless transmission? Is it reception of the message without distortion? Distortion of the message happens at two points during transmission – physical distortion due to the belief of the receiver The same message, to two different persons will have different reactions. […]
Why do we fear, when we know that most of the fears are groundless
Our mind is not designed that way. A baby does not fear the snake, the response of the people around him makes it fear the snake. Our fears are a product of our programming. People eat things that other people shudder to look at. People have learnt responses and behaviours that are acceptable. It is […]
More on academic pressure
Earlier, I focussed on parents and peers for putting pressure. One respondent talked about the professors vacillating between academic probity, their institute’s academic reputation, the professor’s professional reputation of being a hard task master and his personal reputation if blamed for the untoward incident. Someone recommended professors making judgemental call on grades based on potential […]
Suicides
http://www.ndtv.com/article/cities/madhuris-death-8th-suicide-at-iit-kanpur-in-5-years-67150 I belong to this august institution. When such an article appears, it creates a furore and a sense of outrage among the alumni. Here is my letter to them. Folks Can I put it differently, at the risk of maybe raising the hackles, or maybe a derisive laugh, out of most of us? I […]
Random Events or Fate – What should I believe?
Take a hypothetical example of a road accident that I am involved in. I am being very careful, driving under the speed limit and being responsible. But the driver of the bus that barrels into me was speeding, had a few drinks and thought he had the right of way. Further, he was trying to […]