6 Characteristics of Relationships and How to Maintain Them
When two persons enter into a relationship (be it professional or personal), the following interaction happens. There are three distinct areas – the two persons having unique identities A, B and a third shared identity (C). This is a very important concept – that the relationship is separate from the persons who create the relationship. Just […]
Acceptance is not Resignation
When someone come to me with stories of how badly life has treated him (no one tells me stories of how life has treated them fairly), and asks for advice on what to do, I request him to accept that this incident has happened. Invariably, the person becomes confused and asks, “So, you are telling […]
3 Questions on Exploitation in Relationships
The purpose of life is happiness. If we are not happy, we cannot think of making others happy. A win-win situation is when we are happy and others are happy. If we are unhappy while making other happy, it is a lose-win situation. Being unhappy and making others unhappy is totally a lose-lose scenario. Happiness […]
7 Things Shy People Can Do to Network
Few of us are natural networkers. We all know the important of networking, but invariably, we postpone it for tomorrow, because shy folks like us do not like to meet with people and make inane conversation. It is easy to believe that social networking or internet based networking (read Facebook) is a better option. However, […]
5 Reasons for the Great Indian Crab Syndrome
The story of the Great Indian Crab Syndrome is well known. In essence, Indian Crabs do not need to be locked up as one crab will prevent others from escaping. But let us be fair. This happens everywhere. I have worked in the far East and the Far West, fairly North (but not south of […]
Don’t Quit Your Job So Soon!
I am invariably asked this question from my mentees, “Should I change my job?” Reasons for Quitting When I probe deeper, I find that the reasons are broadly: An expectation mismatch between the manager and the mentee. The mentee typically blames the organisation, the management, the boss, the super-boss, the colleagues, the politics, the salary, the […]
Goals are based on my needs
Is it important to have specific and measurable goals? It they keep on changing, what is the purpose of having a goal? The answer to the first one is yes, we need to have goals, that too, written goals (one study shows that written goals are more likely to be achieved). If we do not […]
The contamination of life – technology and the decline of ‘mindfulness’
When we did manual labour and did not have labour-saving devices, we worked from morning to night creating the same output that we can now deliver in a fraction of that time. By manual labour, I do not mean physical labour, it could also be accounting, computing, research, even reading (dare I call it studying?)… […]
If I fall down, it is the fault of the stone; if you fall down, you are clumsy…
In any conflict situation, we immediate attribute the cause of the problem to a defect in personality. If there is a fight between you and me, you will blame my personality or my disposition (“You never listen!”) not the situation causing the distraction. If a professor is strict in class, the students will label the […]
These times of fear
Yesterday, one of my ex-students, after watching a skit performed by the current students, which denigrated a Hindu deity, expressed his anguish at the denigration and his apprehension that if the video of this performance was uploaded to Youtube, it may have negative repercussions. Today I was reading about the Jaipur Literature Festival and the Rushdie […]